For Ex Banking

I am very grateful that my new school is sending me to the AISA (Association of International Schools of Africa) annual conference in Nairobi, Kenya.  And, since the Malawi Kwacha doesn’t have any value outside of Malawi, getting forex is a priority.  The school ordered USD for me at the bank, and when they were ready to be picked up, I was sent to the main branch, passport in hand.  Not sure if you are aware of how bad the Foreign Exchange, or lack of for ex situation is right now in the country.  We don’t have enough forex to purchase diesel, petrol, even the gaz to put in cokes and beers….  So, you MUST order your forex well ahead of time and hope that you can get it before leaving the country. 

Anyways, I left school a little early yesterday to go to the bank, for what I think will be a quick transaction, since they have the USD ready for me and they know exactly the time I will show up!  I should have known better…  Let me start at the beginning.

The main branch of our bank is a huge building, smack in the center of town.  In front of it, you have merchants selling all kinds, going from recharge cards for your mobile to fruits and veggies and used clothing!  Almost a market without stalls!  You enter the building into a huge low ceilinged room, with lines upon lines of people waiting to be helped and the tellers behind bullet proof windows in the back of the room.  So, after spotting the forex window, I get in line and wait a few minutes.  The teller on the other side of the window is nice enough, takes my passport, finds the USD order from the school, already approved with a bunch of official stamps.  She hands me a paper to fill in, with destination, flight confirmation number, my address here and while in Kenya…  I basically sign my life away!  She takes the passport, the order letter and the form I just filled in and disappear for about 10 minutes to make copies of all documents.  She comes back..I’m thinking; OK, we’re done with the paperwork, hand over the money so I can go back to school and life in general….Not so fast!  She opens the forex drawer, which looks empty, looks like there is about 30 GBP and about 400 USD…nohting else!  She pulls the USD, start counting, counts again, a third time, gets up and goes over to her supervisor’s desk…  It looks like there is a problem as they both go talk to a second supervisor.  Meanwhile, I’m standing on the other side of the bulletproof window, watching this as it unfolds.

She comes back and asks me to step to the side and wait, as they don’t have the exact change!  They have 3 100USD bills, and 2 50 USD bills and one 5 and one 10… since I’m supposed to pick up 325 USD, they can’t give me the exact change.  After me waiting on the side, the supervisor’s supervisor comes to the window and explains what I had already figured out..that they couldn’t give me the exact change!  So, their solution to the problem is first to ask me if I have change….What a joke!  I’m there to collect USD as I have none!!  Then, the second solution they have come up with, since I cannot give them the change they need is to send the supervisor on foot around town to check at the other forex offices to see if they have change..  It’s already been an hour that I’ve been inside the bank, and still no money! 

So, I arm myself with patience, stand and lean back and do what I love to do…people watching!  Since they still have my passport, I’m NOT leaving the teller’s window, just lean on the wall right there and observe people as they take care of their bank transactions.  Since this whole ordeal took almost 2 hours, I had PLENTY of time to do my people watching and here are some of my observations about the banking habits of the Malawians!

1. When they do a deposit, the cash can be stored in their pockets, in a plastic bag or in a huge sports bag!  Mind you, 500 MK is less than 3 USD…so a business making a Friday deposits has millions…  in bricks, bound together with rubber bands.  A guy made a deposit of bricks that could have built a fort in a preschool classroom.
2. When they make a withdrawal, it’s usually a smaller amount, ranging from a couple of hundreds of MK (and I felt bad for those guys, who waited an hour in line to withdraw 300 MK or about 2 USD – as this was all they could afford!).  My favorite was that older man who withdrew probably about 500, 000 MK…small packs of Kwachas.  He stuffed his pockets and when he ran out of room, he opened his dress shirt and stuffed it as well.  He truly looked like a bad stuffed costume!!!  The ladies use similar tactics but instead of stuffing their dress shirts, they stuff the front of their bras…  Yickes!  I really will wash my hands every time I handle money from now on!
3. A guy could stand in line for over an hour before reaching the teller.  So, what they do is go in pairs.  One worker and one employer.  The worker stands in line while the employer sits on the side.  When the worker is at the front, then the other guy, who is actually doing the transaction, goes to the front of the line and takes care of his business.  Couples use the same strategy, with the husband in line and the wife waiting on the side.
4. Smart dress doesn’t mean clean…au contraire, mon cher!  Some guys wearing suits may have looked smart, but the BO was overpowering!
5. My least favorite smell right now, when stuck in a low ceilinged room for 2 hours, is the “Parfum D’Afrique”…  that BO that doesn’t leave your nostrils…  I know it may sound harsh, but when such a concentration of people is together in a non-ventilated area, it’s just too bad and overpowering!

After almost another hour, the supervisor came back, gave the change to the teller and I finally received the cash I had come for!  It was a relief to finally walk out of there…with enough money to take a taxi and eat for 5 days while in Nairobi!